Ambitions or Pretensions?

Two and a half years ago when I just started my music career and was anxiously shifting my feet near the stage anticipating my first performance, the level of competition among artists seemed crazy. Each and every act I saw was unbelievably talented and was dreaming of making it to the top.

A bit later down the line, after numerous talks with managers, promoters and fellow musicians, it appeared that despite protestations of serious intentions, only half of those wannabe stars actually aim to build a music career. A lot of people who play at open-mics and local gigs are not ready to work hard on achieving their music goals, have other 2nd hobbies, or simply don’t believe in themselves enough to bet on their chances.

Out of the remaining fifty percent of musicians, twenty percent are totally incapable of self-organisation, not motivated enough, or their act is too far from the commercial format and will probably remain in a specific experimental niche. Some of those twenty percent love parties too much; others hate traveling, rehearsals or the lack of money in music. So, at the end of the day we are left with only thirty percent of musicians who are seriously competing for your place in the limelight. Ambition plays a very important role in this race for popularity.

However, there are different kinds of ambition. Not too long ago I had a very interesting conversation with one of my music colleagues, which inspired me to write this article. So, let’s find out where healthy ambition ends and presumptuous demands begin.

First things first, I need to clarify what exactly I mean by ambition. “A strong desire to achieve something”, - Google suggests. For me, however, ambition is not only about desire, but also about anticipation, and some sort of pretension: I believe I can achieve something, so I will. I understand that such a definition of ambition might come across negative, but for me, the word “ambition” has always had a positive meaning, unlike the word “pretension”. Overall, I think you are ambitious when you sensibly assess yourself and your opportunities and then set a certain goal that you want to reach. For example, after performing twice at the same festival, it’s only natural to start dreaming of becoming the festival’s headliner. This is a positive healthy ambition. But what if you formed a band around a month ago and now you won’t lift your finger unless a bar pays you £200 upfront in a town where no one has ever heard of you and your precious band? This sounds a little bit pretentious, don’t you think?

However, there are examples where you can’t really tell if it’s ambitions or pretentions speaking. What if you are a young performer, who just started his or her career and strongly believes that with a serious approach, can become as big as The Rolling Stones? Sounds a bit arrogant, no doubt, but also dreamy and quite inspiring in a way! How about more practical examples. When a venue can’t provide a decent quality sound equipment, will artists who don’t want to sacrifice their good sound have to refuse playing? Is it their ambition to be the best versions of themselves or their pretensions because they are too cool for that kind of gig?

In my opinion, a lot of the time the line between ambitions and pretensions is crossed by the way those very ambitions are delivered. If you are dreaming of headlining Glastonbury one day, that’s great! However, there is no need to present those dreams with arrogance or haughtiness. On the other hand, it’s always sad when people are too shy to even say their wishes out loud. As the saying goes, ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’. That’s why, a successful achievement of one’s goals lies in a well-balanced mixture of modesty and cheekiness.

Speaking of modesty and uneasiness, I’ve noticed that in England it’s almost the norm to downgrade your achievements a bit, so other people can praise them. It’s done for multiple reasons. Sometimes, it’s a way to get a compliment. A girl, who just finished a perfect a cappella cover of Adele, will say something along the lines of ‘I can hardly sing’. It then doesn’t come as a big surprise when everyone in the room will pour out their compliments saying how amazing she was. She would get all shy and thank them for their kind words. To be entirely honest, I myself am guilty of pulling this trick sometimes. When my colleagues at work kept congratulating me on my successful performance at Glastonbury Festival, instead of just thanking them, I would politely brush it away and would say it wasn’t that much of a big deal and it was just a small stage…

This compliment searching behavior can also be explained by another aspect of British culture: people are afraid of appearing arrogant. This feature is even more noticeable when I talk to my American friends – they always seem to be proud of how far they’ve come and never hide it. What’s interesting is that it actually never comes across as narcissism, despite the concerns of the Brits. It looks like a simple acknowledgement of achievements and facts from one’s biography.

I remember that at the very start of my career I was happy to perform anywhere, for how long as necessary and wherever necessary. I could perform anywhere, with a microphone and without, with my guitar or with someone else’s, for a fee or for free, day or night. Even now I try not to miss out on any presented opportunity regardless of when or where it might be.

However, slowly but steadily as we develop and our expectations start changing too. Singing for four hours in a row at an empty hall as background noise seemed like an opportunity two years ago. Now it seems more like a waste of time. After awhile, a young aspiring musician starts realising that they don’t want to just play a show, they want to be listened to, and get some kind of response to their music. They want to sound good and look good. It’s quite rare that an empty four-hour gig would benefit your career. Most likely it would bring nothing but disappointment and material losses. Does that mean that you’ve caught star fever? What seemed amazing last year, no longer brings the same rush of joy…

I don’t think there is a right answer to this question. Some will say, that it’s important to remember where you’ve come from and I agree with that. It is important to keep your feet on the ground and always be grateful no matter how much you’ve progressed. However, in my opinion, if the size of your shows has grown, that’s a positive thing that needs to be celebrated and not reproached. You can still be humble and continue making your most daring ambitions a reality. What’s important is the attitude that you have when you’re doing business. Rejection, criticism, contract termination, change in your music direction – all of it can be done in a polite civilised manner. The same applies to artists’ demands and pretensions. No one will call you names if you ask for more time to do a sound check and one extra bottle of wine, but you will need to ask for it politely, not just demand it because you can. Hence, a lot of the time it’s less about the war between ambitions and pretentions, but rather between good and bad manners.